video

I believe that God told me that our grief, after only having lost Owen, was not to be private.  We strongly believe that we must grieve publicly...because it's not about us, it's about Him.  I think my preference would be to put on my Southern Belle face, ask how YOU are doing, tell you I'm doing fine, and give you a big smile and hug.  HOWEVER, that is about ME.  There is no part of this journey that I want to remain inwardly focused.  So...that being said...after one of my posts about finding joy after pain, I received a text message from a friend who was charged with leading the women's retreat at our church.  She told me how much God was weaving this cool picture with different people learning the same lesson right now :: trust Him despite your circumstance and choose JOY.  I wrote back that we knew that God has asked us to be vulnerable and raw so I would help in any way.  The below is the outcome of that conversation.  It is a very honest video about what God is doing and will do in our lives.  We have been asked to do another video also that will include my husband's perspective that I will post when it is complete.

https://vimeo.com/64851940

rocked to {the core}

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

those words in a song by laura story get me in my core.  what if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy.

wow.

not even sure how to wrestle this one down to the ground.

if you know me well, you know that i meet jesus in the bubble bath almost nightly.  that's our holy ground where we do business on a frequent basis.  {sorry if that's TMI for some of you!} my current reading for the bubble bath is a book about a mother's loss.  she talks about how much her life changed, yet joy kept creeping in and eventually found a home in her heart again.

i am moving to a season when the pain is not as raw.  i don't have a gaping wound or feel as though i'm standing on the side of the road looking at the carnage of a wreck scene anymore.  for truly, God does give us joy and He does provide healing.

going back to what we were told by Him in delivering our second son, Levi - 

the joy of the Lord is my strength {nehemiah 8}.

if the joy of the Lord is my strength, then truly the trials of this life are, in fact, His mercies in disguise as laura story writes.  i will never be the same again {and that's okay and probably a good thing}, but i do have joy.  and, the person that walks away from surveying the wreck is one who understands that God does show us mercy and sometimes it comes in the form of pain.  let that get you in YOUR core.  it rocks me.