video #2

After my video was shown at the women's retreat this year, it was asked if we would be willing to do another video for the larger church that included my husband's perspective and gave a current demonstration of where God had us on this journey.  Here is a glimpse into our hearts and our reality...still we will praise Him.

https://vimeo.com/67187918

several {months}

yes, it has been several months since i've picked up the computer to write.  to tell you the truth, i have not had the words to utter.  my heart has been processing and i realized that i needed to keep my mouth closed.  {i do better that way, ya know!}

my joke is that i get paid to listen.  i listen all day in my job.  but, often, being still before the sovereign God of the universe and just LISTENING can be a challenge.  this last season for me was about listening to Him.  

to try to find words to describe what God has revealed or exactly where we are would be silly.  but, our dear friend, ryan, shared with us a song with a message that clearly speaks to our heart and describes what we feel the Lord has asked of us.  

if you have ever wondered why God allows difficulty in life or what He intends to do with your pain...or if you are one of the people who constantly ask us how we find our strength or what we believe...please take 6 minutes of your time to check this out.  i sing it out at the top of my lungs and WEEP every time.  may He use this to speak to your heart as well.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyUPz6_TciY 

video

I believe that God told me that our grief, after only having lost Owen, was not to be private.  We strongly believe that we must grieve publicly...because it's not about us, it's about Him.  I think my preference would be to put on my Southern Belle face, ask how YOU are doing, tell you I'm doing fine, and give you a big smile and hug.  HOWEVER, that is about ME.  There is no part of this journey that I want to remain inwardly focused.  So...that being said...after one of my posts about finding joy after pain, I received a text message from a friend who was charged with leading the women's retreat at our church.  She told me how much God was weaving this cool picture with different people learning the same lesson right now :: trust Him despite your circumstance and choose JOY.  I wrote back that we knew that God has asked us to be vulnerable and raw so I would help in any way.  The below is the outcome of that conversation.  It is a very honest video about what God is doing and will do in our lives.  We have been asked to do another video also that will include my husband's perspective that I will post when it is complete.

https://vimeo.com/64851940

rocked to {the core}

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

those words in a song by laura story get me in my core.  what if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy.

wow.

not even sure how to wrestle this one down to the ground.

if you know me well, you know that i meet jesus in the bubble bath almost nightly.  that's our holy ground where we do business on a frequent basis.  {sorry if that's TMI for some of you!} my current reading for the bubble bath is a book about a mother's loss.  she talks about how much her life changed, yet joy kept creeping in and eventually found a home in her heart again.

i am moving to a season when the pain is not as raw.  i don't have a gaping wound or feel as though i'm standing on the side of the road looking at the carnage of a wreck scene anymore.  for truly, God does give us joy and He does provide healing.

going back to what we were told by Him in delivering our second son, Levi - 

the joy of the Lord is my strength {nehemiah 8}.

if the joy of the Lord is my strength, then truly the trials of this life are, in fact, His mercies in disguise as laura story writes.  i will never be the same again {and that's okay and probably a good thing}, but i do have joy.  and, the person that walks away from surveying the wreck is one who understands that God does show us mercy and sometimes it comes in the form of pain.  let that get you in YOUR core.  it rocks me.

swimming {in the deep end}

I never want to forget these days.  For it is these days right now, this exact season, that I am learning to love Jesus without limit or caution.  

You see, these days I am swimming in the deep end.  I am wrestling with my Savior over some of the larger questions in life.  It is not in the simple, easy chapters when we learn.  For our pain provides momentum for growth and learning.

My Jesus hangs out in the deep end.  He's not chillin' on the shore while I keep this pretty face on of how wonderful my life is.  He beckons me to get dirty and start treading water in the deep end.  There is nothing real about staying safe, trying to prevent or avoid pain, attempting to live the American dream.  I don't want my children to be protected, I want them to understand Jesus.  And, if I want my children to understand Jesus and the fullness of life, I, too, must understand.

In scripture, the minor prophet named Habakkuk begins with this complaint toward the Lord of how much he is suffering and asking questions of why God has not yet rescued him, knowing that he is hurting.  God responds to Habakkuk's griping with "If I told you what I'm going to do, you would never believe it."  In other words, 'Habakkuk shut up, because you are clueless and I've got this figured out.  I know what is best for you and I am meeting you right where you are - in the deep end.'  

Swimming in the deep end requires me to feel vulnerable and tender many days.  I had two tough days this week.  There was nothing really to evoke the sadness.  Grief just sneaks up on you.  Swimming in the deep end means that I will remain keenly aware for all of my days that there are supposed to be five children in this home, not just the three who appear in our family pictures.  Swimming in the deep end means that I have to answer questions about why this tragedy occurred when asked often.  Better yet, why did this tragedy occur two times?  Swimming in the deep end means that I have to keep celebrating as friends become pregnant, have flawless ultrasounds, and take that journey for granted.  Swimming in the deep end means that I will always remember having to hand back my children to a nurse knowing that I would never see them again, having to arrange to have two children cremated, to have the ashes picked up, and to constantly answer questions from my children about why their brothers had to go to heaven and couldn't come play with them or live with us.

The deep end sucks.  But, the deep end is where my Jesus is and where he beckons me to stay.  Jesus isn't concerned with how I FEEL, He is concerned with how I GROW.  As much as I hate some parts of being in the deep end, I would not swim to shore for any amount of money.  My life is about His glory and I can only glorify Him if I know Him deeply and love Him passionately.  He will bind up these wounds and He will redeem these days.  But, for now, I am swimming in the deep end and I don't plan to head to the shore.

Habakkuk concludes his writing with a proclamation that he will be joyful in his affliction and that he will turn his attention to what the Lord is doing in him.

Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord.

 I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer

 he enables me to tread on the heights.

I want to know my Jesus more, so I shall keep swimming in the deep end.  It's all about HIM anyways.

walking {with God}

I am currently captivated by a book titled Walking with God on the Road You Never Wanted to Travel by Mark Atteberry.  Safe to say, the title had me at hello (thanks, Jerry Maguire).  Essentially, what the book communicates is that our trials in life are very similar to the journey taken by the Israelites in their 40 years in the wilderness.  What we fail to take into account though is that the journey itself actually matters.  It is not just about the beginning when the story began or the end when it is all cleared up and everyone leaves happy.  This part, the trek itself, really matters.

Psalm 37:19 - They will survive through hard times; even in famine they will have more than enough.

Trusting God that He is enough {see earlier blog post}.

Isaiah 40:31 - Those who wait on the Lord will find new strength.  They will fly high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not be faint.

It's His timing, not mine.  He really cares about how I'm walking through the wilderness, not as much about whether I get to the end goal.  I am also being taught that it is not my own strength that will keep me walking.  I am faint, but He restores me.

Deuteronomy 10:20 - You must fear the Lord your God and worship Him and cling to Him.

Asking myself the question ' do i worry or worship more?'.  I choose to continue to bear witness to a God who is worthy of being worshipped.  I shutter to think what pain would look like without some hope of a God who promises never to leave me or forsake me.

Matthew 10:18 - This will be your opportunity to tell them about me (God).

I wish that I felt this story was over.  I wish that we could heal our broken hearts, pick up our helmets and walk off the field.  Unfortunately, we truly believe that God has not released us from the call to parent a son on earth.  So, we walk forward in hope and belief, and look forward to giving God the glory for a story that only He could have written.

So, the moral to the story is that I would not have chosen to walk a different road.  For what I am learning on this trek is convincing me that I do want to travel this road.

{more than} enough

more than enough...

we rely on God to meet our every need, according to our own timing and desire for happiness

when life becomes difficult, we ask questions

God, why would you allow this to happen?

Are you not good?

Do you not love us?

but, what we must learn in our darkest hour

is that He is enough.

He is enough...

to know what a breaking heart needs

to turn ashes into beauty

to heal broken marriages

to help with the many questions of parenting

  to forgive you for any past mistakes

to bottle every tear shed from your eyes

{two} months

it has been 2 months since the day that we walked out of the hospital for the second time with no baby in tow.  it has been 2 months since we experienced again the pain that can be caused in a broken world where there are no promises of what we think we deserve.  but, it has also been 2 months where we have seen that...

God is good, no matter what we feel
pain is real
everyone has a story and our story belongs to our Savior
children are resilient 
marriages can be strengthened in hardship
community is necessary
sometimes you can be blessed by someone who is completely unaware
long, hard cries are healing
faking a smile is not in your best interest
bubble baths bring a necessary quiet time
it is easy to project anger in inappropriate places
grandparents are a gift
everyone has pain at some level
people really want to help, but often don't know how
putting on makeup can improve your mood
sometimes parents need to put themselves in timeout
prayer is essential

we long for heaven and to know our boys
we long for jesus and to know him more

{undeserved} abundance

in the darkest moments of life,

you learn the richest lessons.

for me right now, one of the things i am learning is about what i mistakenly think i deserve.

do not take anything for granted.

sure, this one sounds easy and you hear it all of the time, right?

but, what i am beginning to see more and more is that we are not owed anything.

every single thing is a blessing {noun, meaning God's favor and protection}, 

not earned based on merit or good character or what we think we deserve.

this means that when i lie my head on my pillow at night, regardless of whether my husband picked up his clothes off of the floor or said all of the loving things i thought i needed him to say that day, that i must thank God for him.  that i must reconcile verbally and by action any division that could have occurred between us during the day.  i must not take my husband, who serves as God's greatest gift to me for a lifetime of partnership and companionship, for granted.

in counseling sessions, i am always hearing couples explain how their spouses are not meeting their needs and making them happy.  guess what, people?  you were not created to be happy, you were created to be holy and give your life away.  do not, for a minute, think that this man or woman by your side was randomly selected to be there, does not serve a purpose, and is not a blessing.  i am choosing to focus on my own responsibility in my marriage, which stated biblically is to be a helpmate to my husband.  i would love for you to join me because as you give to your spouse, you are quickly reminded that it is not about you and the selfishness melts away leaving a much more beautiful reflection of marriage and committed affection.

this also means that when i am dead tired at the end of the night and it is time to put three cute little bodies to bed, that i must not do that with a heart of hastiness wanting it to end soon so that i can accomplish what i have on my mind to do or with a heart that does not acknowledge that every opportunity to tuck those girls into bed, say prayers with them, and kiss their little foreheads goodnight is a blessing.  for i do not deserve those girls, God chose to bless us with them.  and, for that, i am exceedingly and abundantly grateful.

i will never again take a healthy ultrasound for granted.  i will never again be able to look at our girls without such awe and wonder of what little miracles they truly have been formed to be.  i will never again speak words to other mommies like, "don't you want more children or don't you want a boy/girl?" because i do not know the painful road that has led them to this particular day.  i will cherish the opportunity to raise these three girls and i will savor the days.  the days are so long, but the years are so short.

this also means that i must recognize that life does have some crazy twists, 

that sometimes people will disappoint us or medical bills stack up or you feel the weight of the constant to-do list in life or even sometimes you may lose a child.

i am learning again and again that my attitude affects everything and i deserve nothing.  whether you are in the carpool line or sitting at your desk in your corporate job, there is something that you can acknowledge as God's blessing to you on that day in that particular moment.  

i am blessed beyond measure.  even in this darkest hour of my life, i can see that i have been given far more than what i could have hoped or imagined.  but, this has nothing to do with me.  this has everything to do with a God who sent His only son to sacrifice so that i could have life to its full measure.  

you have that same life.  embrace the abundance in your life and acknowledge those blessings as such.

because like me, you do not deserve it.

{as i complete this writing, i am fully aware that many of you struggle with being in a place where you feel that you cannot find hope or acknowledge blessings.  if this is you and you would like to communicate personally, i would love to offer any help that i can.  at a minimum, i would love to be praying for you.  feel free to email me at rebecca.woodman@foresthill.org. this journey was not meant to be walked alone.}

{desiring} redemption

To remain completely real with you, I want to share what my greatest learning has been of late.  

Redemption.  

I am learning more and more that our humanity teaches us that we deserve redemption.  That we are guaranteed that all things that hurt or cause pain will one day be made "right."

In scripture in the book of Joel, one of my very favorite passages tells us that God will restore the years that the locusts have eaten away.  I have CLUNG to this knowledge for many, many years.  It brings such hope.

When we finally decided to post publicly about the pregnancy with Levi, I said the following:

God promises us that He will restore the years that have been taken away :: as you grieved with us last year through the loss of Owen, we would love for you to now celebrate with us the hope of redeemed pain :: due 7.21.13 with a BOY (one year to the day of Owen's due date!) :: humbled, grateful, hopeful.

We firmly believed that Levi was God's redemption for the pain of losing Owen.  We believed that he was a blessing back from the Lord for what was lost.

What I am learning through the tears is this - God will ALWAYS redeem and restore.  He has promised us that.  However, we may not be privy to the evidence.  It is our own selfishness that believes that we must see the good from the bad or the beauty from the ashes.

I must trust that God will restore...even if I am not in the front row.  I desire redemption.  There WILL be redemption.  But, this is about making His name great...this is not about me, or my comfort or need to know.  

We remain humbled, grateful, and hopeful.

{completely} empty

I returned back to work this week...to the life of ministry {which I love and know that I am called to}.  This return also means that I go back to a consistent need for self-reflection.  You see, as a pastor and counselor, I can only help others as far as God helps me.  I can only give out of the cup that God so generously fills for me.

In one of my regular meetings this week {the first since my return}, my boss was doing a devotion on the passage in Matthew 16 on taking up your cross.

²⁴ Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ²⁵ For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. {Matthew 16}

I honestly could have burst into tears right then and there.  One of my colleagues actually joked when my boss said, "so, what does it mean to take up your cross and lose your life?".  My friend said, "live like Rebecca is."  {HA, HA}  We laughed, but unfortunately that is how I feel.  And, I don't mean that in the proud sense.  I mean that in the sense of...I am empty.  Jesus is all I have to fill these hard, dark spots.  I must take up my cross and follow Him, and Him alone.

Empty for me currently looks like, but is not limited to, the following:

• no understanding of how God will use the pain of losing two children
• physically depleted - stomach flu 2xs in a month, infection in cervix, pink eye, recovering from labor and delivery - it's not been pretty!
• little desire for social interaction - learning to be quiet during this season of listening
• being needed by my husband to help with the small tasks in life - complete dependency because of his knee injury {pray that he gets the approval to drive this week, it's been a long 10 weeks!}
• desperately wanting to hear God's voice, but struggling to make sense of anything

The encouragement for me in this passage, however, is that Jesus was saying that whoever loses their life for their Savior will eventually find it.  You see, I want the life that He provides.  I want that life of being completely emptied of my own junk.  I want to be emptied of the selfishness, the pride, the resentment, the self-pity...all of those things that entangle me.  And, I would venture to guess that some of those same things might entangle some of you who I love as well.

As much as it causes pain and as much as I would never choose this current road of suffering, I fully intend to take up my cross and follow my Jesus.  I want to be emptied, only to know Him more and be filled with more of Him.  If I can be more like Jesus or look more like Him, you can take this life and shove it!  Empty me completely.

blessings {counted}

In an effort to have a gauge of healing and a marker in time, 

counting the blessings.

recognition of how much i love and need my husband

many tears shed, while he holds my hand and cries with me

looking at him and knowing that he gets it

seeing that we are knit together because of this shared pain

watching him hold our son with such love

recognition of how much i adore these little girls

appreciating opportunity to be their mommy and carry their burden

laughing with them

admiring their innocence in these hard days

seeing how they love two brothers who they haven't even met

recognition of how much i appreciate our family

knowing that my mom and mom-in-law premeditate what we need

trusting both fathers to give needed wisdom

watching them share in our sorrow out of love

understanding that they wish they could take it from us

appreciating practical support with girls and chores

recognition of what amazing community we have

accepting countless expressions of love

appreciating meals cooked and delivered to us

admiring friends who help with and love on girls

appreciating friend who shopped for clothes i would feel good in

receiving notes of love and beautiful flowers

endless prayer support and encouragement

thank you, for being one of our blessings.

{note from Lila to me, written shortly after we knew we were pregnant in fall, 2012 - she was praying for a brother}

{normal} life

Normal life?  Is there even such a thing?  Does "normal" exist?  As a therapist, I have been asked the questions many times "when will I feel 'normal' again?" or "when will life return to normal?".  My response was an automatic, "you will have a new normal now" or "there is no 'normal'."

The bottomline for me about "normal" is that if life is only about seeking my own happiness and desperately trying to stay pain-free then I want no part of "normal."  I do not aim to be simply comfortable or status quo.  In this brokenhearted moment, God is speaking to us and we are trying to listen.  C.S. Lewis, one of the greatest Christian authors of all time, said once that "God whispers to us in our pleasures...but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."  I have been reminded of many things through this journey that I already knew, tell clients regularly, but apparently needed to be spoken again to my own soul:

1.  being anxious does not prevent pain :: God allows what He knows will grow our character and our understanding of Him, despite how much we may worry or fret

2.  in the darkest moments of life, there is a light that continues to shine :: you must simply look for it

3.  my life is not for my own selfish purposes, my life is to be a living sacrifice - holy and pleasing to Him

4.  we learn so much from pain, we learn so little from peace

5.  time does NOT heal all wounds :: I will forever miss Owen and Levi, I will forever wish that I could hold them and watch them grow, I will forever wish that I knew them now and did not have to wait until heaven to see their precious faces again

6.  trials in life only have the power that I give to them :: I have the ability to choose joy, however difficult that may be

Here is another big one - life requires us to return to "normal."  Because people are uncomfortable with knowing what to do for you or say to you and really want to see you happy and because the person in pain wants to move out of the place that he/she is in, we dive back into the deep waters of real life.  Often, this is a premature, forced effort.

This week I have begun the slow return to what our "normal" looks like.  This return has included picking up the kids from preschool, going to doctor appointments, returning phone calls that have been delayed, etc.  What I cannot return to as quickly, however, is the JOY part of life.  I cannot fake it.  Joy is difficult right now.  We were driving home from Johnny's work today (that's another current side story in our lives for another day) and when discussing the events of the day he asked me the question, "So, did you have fun?".  The question stopped me dead in my tracks because I quickly realized that I have forgotten what it means to "have fun."  You see, returning to normal tasks must occur (or so the world tells us) but returning to a normal state of emotions does not happen as quickly, or ever.

Tomorrow I will begin my own counseling.  I have been in counseling in the past and strongly preach the importance to friends and colleagues, and of course I encourage my clients that they have made a right decision by seeking help in the hard times.  To sit on the other side of the desk and explain this story that God is writing will be challenging for me, yet so necessary.  Pray that I do not spend the time sitting on the couch evaluating how effective the therapist is and actually focus on the task at hand!  :)

On Friday night, Johnny and I had one of those moments.  For those of you who know our boisterous, outgoing ways, you would be surprised how quiet we are right now.  On this particular night, we were just sitting on the bed, listening to songs that people felt prompted by the Lord to send to us, and we were dead silent.  Many of the songs spoke to our hearts, but there is one specifically that really fits where we are (see the lyrics and link below, if interested).  We sat on the bed, holding hands, and crying...the messy, healing kind of crying.  The song reminds us that God is there in all times - when we hurt, when we are healing, when we question, and when we feel sorrow.  I believe that God's "normal" is that He is always there, despite the fact that our "normal" has changed.

As we try to gain our composure, put smiles on our faces, and muster the energy to tackle the demands of daily life, we will remember that God is in this battle with us.  No, not just that He's in the battle with us - He is leading us, He loves us, and He carries us.  Yes, we have a new normal.  We have a new normal again.  But, we choose joy and we choose to believe that God's story during this battle is for good.  I hope you will do the same when the trials come.

With broken hearts and open hands,

Rebecca {and John}

Song "Times" by Tenth Avenue North (referenced above)

The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '

The times you're broken.The times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it's underneath.It's inside, it's in between.

These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.

The times you're hurting.The times that you heal.

The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache.I'm there in the storm.

My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.

I don't care where you fallen, where you have been.

I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.It never ends.

{Tenth Avenue North}

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A8setaUu6s

{painful} beginnings

I believe that I originated this blog site about 2 years ago.  It had been said to me many times that I should try my hand at blogging, perhaps thinking that I could share some of my meager knowledge in the sphere of counseling or some crazy stories from life with the three girls who live in our home {affectionately known as The Blondetourage}, hence the name "Mommy in Ministry."  However, I allowed life to slip between the time that I spent sitting at a computer and journaling thoughts.  Life was fast and furious for us, even after a painful loss this time last year.  I am going to utilize this blog now as a form of therapy for my soul.  So, if you aren't down with a lengthy, completely authentic and vulnerable writing, you may want to cut your losses and stop reading now.  You are politely excused!  :)

Life WAS fast and furious, as stated previously.  At this very moment, however, on February 17th of 2013 life feels as though it is barely creeping by us.  Days are long and hard.  We experienced the loss of our second child 10 days ago on Feb 7th.  It was not our second child to be born, but dreadfully the actual SECOND child that we had to say goodbye to on this side of heaven.  No one should have to walk through birthing a child with no breath or hope of survival.  We never thought that we would walk that road TWO times.  

Our hearts are aching, gaping wide open.  When I'm alone, particularly in the shower or the car, I cry long, hard, and very loudly.  It is a desperate cry, a cry that really is my heart communicating with the Lord.  The human side of me asks questions like this...

"Why, Lord?"

"Wasn't one time enough?"

"Didn't we strive to bring You glory in the midst of that pain with Owen?  Again, really?"

"We told you, God, that we were okay with our son having a heart defect or a physical deformity, but we just wanted his life.  Why could we not just have his life?"

"Why do we have to suffer through the horror of birthing another son who we love deeply only to never get to see him take a breath?"

"How is this fair?"

Then, I am reminded of what I KNOW to be true of God.  I cannot tell you how often I have thought that in the painful, challenging seasons of life we must cling to what we KNOW to be true of God, not what we necessary may FEEL about Him.  My emotions and feelings will very much fail and deceive me in a time such as this one.

Our senior pastor, David, texted me the other morning and said that he felt led to come visit and pray for us the other day.  He said that he felt that the Lord had whispered a few things to him for us to hear.  What he heard from the Lord were three things that I never want to forget.

1.  The numbness that you currently feel is for your protection and it will wear off.  We are only able to psychologically handle so much pain at a time.  With this journey of the loss of two sons, we have not only experienced loss but also trauma.  It is quite traumatic to arrive at the hospital pregnant, birth a stillborn child, and leave with empty arms.  What the Lord is doing is protecting us from the depth of pain that we could/should feel so that we have time to heal, then the second wave will come.

2.  He is allowing us to share in HIs sufferings [Romans 8:17].  If there is anyone who really "gets" losing a son it is our Heavenly Father.  For not only did He have to suffer through the loss, but He had to make the decision to lose His son.  We firmly believe that our faith goes so much farther and deeper when we understand what it means to share in the sufferings of Christ.

3.  He has chosen us [Colossians 3].  This one makes me cry every time.  Understand that our pastor was not telling us that God is a punishing God who thought that it would be good for us, His children, to feel pain.  He is actually allowing us the HONOR of being chosen to walk this road because He has great plans for our future, because He wants us to fully understand Him and His character, because He believes that we will carry His name well through the billows of hell.  I am more than honored to walk this road if it will, in some way, make my God who I love passionately more known. 

There is so much that my heart could tell you right now.  Many of you want to know if they know what happened, or what we are thinking, or what our plans for the future may be.  For now, just know that I will continue to blog as I am able...honestly and for therapeutic purposes...and you will hear as much {or more} of this journey that you care to hear.

Please try to see Jesus in this story.  We were never promised an easy road.  The joy of the Lord is our strength [Nehemiah 8].

Be blessed and thank you for loving us.

With broken hearts and open hands,

Rebecca {and John}